guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
