everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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