strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
