Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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