so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
