Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
