Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
