Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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