For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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