Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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