i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
