I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Come see our sink grown plant.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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