Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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