i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
