Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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