Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
