a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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