dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
