Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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