Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
