Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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