but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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