I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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