Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I will pee on everything he values.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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