so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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