she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's paint friendship bongs
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
