Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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