So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
