There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
