Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize