we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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