I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
