ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
