we're blogging at a bar
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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