Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
