I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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