he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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