Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
