i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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