Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
