i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
