I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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