How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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