i would punch a child for taco bell
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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