also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
