I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
