Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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