walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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