Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
