Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
