Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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