So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
