Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
How's work?
Spinning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
