This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize