Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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