i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
