maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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