gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
