You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
