The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
